earthdad:

me: *smacks my own butt* you are hot and irreplaceable

prblms:

thomasthetalkingengine:

anus:

people who sleep with one pillow make me sick

people who sleep with more than one pillow are shown to be more lonely and depressed

Originally posted by realitytvgifs

spacelesbians:

honestly if I was walking through the forest and saw hozier there i wouldn’t even question it,, it’s where he belongs

poopflow:

shout out to all the people still following me even though im a fucking idiot

capacity:

capacity:

I can’t believe Beyoncé and I have gotten chubby at the same time in our lives like it’s synchronized tbh

If ur skinny right now it means that u and Beyoncé are not cosmically linked at all and that’s tragic to find out I know but it is what it is I’m sorry

showerthoughtsofficial:

I thought the Bermuda Triangle was going to be a bigger problem in my life when I was younger

apiologies:

me rollerblading into my therapist’s office this week with sunglasses and a piña colada: maurice, you’re not gonna fucking believe this,